Loneliness... I think thats how one spells it.
I had been very restless all night yesterday. Currently I am not working... I stay in the house all day.. in my room.. I surf... I blog... I am doing 3 shows a week.... no tensions.... by the grace of my Lord I even see a career parth ahead ,,,though as faint as the slighhtest ray of hope .... but I do see it..... A sunrise starts with one faintest ray... and thats the first step towards a bright sunny day... Inshort I am leading a comfortable and a life a lot of people would gamble stuff for....
But still since a few days I am restless.... restless with something I had left long back... with something once upon a time I was very sure would never be a part of my life.... But since a few days it had been bothering me...
In the very beginnig of my blog I had mentioned of deleating certain people from my life. 2008 had been the most painful year in terms of relations. I stayed alone in the metro... frnz gone and nothing in hand.... except ... a strong resolution to come out of it and never let it hamper my life again.
Today somehow I feel I want to get them back. Not that I have not struggled earlier and its rather the struggle that has been more painful. To receive negligence and to be ignored . Mumbai taught me so much fun, friends , lessons, business, money but it never taught me to be a bad friend, it taught me to look ONLY after MYSELF but not not selfishness..... Pune can teach people to be selfish. I am not talking about people I met in these 8 months in Pune.... they were never friends... they were just people in disguise of friends.. kids can wear a supermas mask or even go ahead and wear a red underwear over their pants ... but they would still not know wht a superman is... or they would just have a partial idea that superman can fly(and not know he can do a lot more good things other than flying or worst there are a lot of bitter responsibilities that come with being a superman)... similarly these guyz had a partial idea of what friends are..... but that dosent make friends.(friendshi comes with a bit of fun and lot of bitters)
I am talking of the old buddies.... they were surely not guyz in disguise.. but somethings gone badly wrong. I wish I can sort it out...
But still since a few days I am restless.... restless with something I had left long back... with something once upon a time I was very sure would never be a part of my life.... But since a few days it had been bothering me...
In the very beginnig of my blog I had mentioned of deleating certain people from my life. 2008 had been the most painful year in terms of relations. I stayed alone in the metro... frnz gone and nothing in hand.... except ... a strong resolution to come out of it and never let it hamper my life again.
Today somehow I feel I want to get them back. Not that I have not struggled earlier and its rather the struggle that has been more painful. To receive negligence and to be ignored . Mumbai taught me so much fun, friends , lessons, business, money but it never taught me to be a bad friend, it taught me to look ONLY after MYSELF but not not selfishness..... Pune can teach people to be selfish. I am not talking about people I met in these 8 months in Pune.... they were never friends... they were just people in disguise of friends.. kids can wear a supermas mask or even go ahead and wear a red underwear over their pants ... but they would still not know wht a superman is... or they would just have a partial idea that superman can fly(and not know he can do a lot more good things other than flying or worst there are a lot of bitter responsibilities that come with being a superman)... similarly these guyz had a partial idea of what friends are..... but that dosent make friends.(friendshi comes with a bit of fun and lot of bitters)
I am talking of the old buddies.... they were surely not guyz in disguise.. but somethings gone badly wrong. I wish I can sort it out...
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